Florida Faux Pas: We make the mistakes, so you don’t have to!

The amazing value of Florida for a family holiday, coupled with things to do for everyone has resulted in my family going to Orlando (and the surrounding areas) multiple times throughout my childhood and adult years. As a whole, our family are loud, comical and just a touch clumsy, meaning if there’s a mistake to be made on a holiday to the ‘Sunshine State’, we’ve most likely done it!

Whether you read these mistakes for tips, or for amusement is completely up to you…

The Sat-Nav Argument

On our last trip to Orlando, I had done relatively well avoiding sat-nav duty; a less-than-desirable role where your main job is to be the lightning rod of the driver’s frustrations. Eventually my family copped on and I was told with adamance that it was my turn, to which I accepted that I’d had a good run and climbed into the passenger seat. Beginning our trip to Universal Studios, we were all in good spirits until my sister noted that we appeared to be getting further away from the rollercoasters we could see in the distance, to which I responded, “Well, the sat nav says ‘Universal Studios’… so shut up!”. We continued driving and doubts, accusations and eventually arguments escalated to the point where we were borderline standing on our seats… But then anger turned to confusion as the sat nav took my dad into the Orlando International Airport terminal. Upon opening the on-screen route, I saw the dreaded words “Universal Studios Orlando…[expanded view] Airport Gift Shop”. On the bright side, I was banned from sat nav duty.

Florida rain vs. British rain

After a crowded afternoon of shopping at Disney Springs, a droplet of rain hit the floor and the Floridians had dispersed within 3-seconds flat. Being stubbornly British, we decided we had an elite tolerance for rain continued shopping. As it happens, a strapless maxi dress becomes a touch too heavy to stay put once it’s absorbed 2 kilos of water!

Experiencing the 5 stages of grief in a mall carpark

> Denial: “This is definitely where we came in, there’s no way we entered through Macy’s”
> Anger: “WHY ARE THE CAR PARKS IDENTICAL?!”
> Bargaining: “Let’s just call a taxi… Or hire a new car… @%£*# it, we’ll walk back!”
> Depression: *Sits down on floor surrounded by shopping bags*
> Acceptance: “It’s alright, next time we go shopping, we’ll take the bus.”

Leaving for dinner, coming back with pneumonia

After a long day in a hot theme park with the gentle sting of sunburn keeping you toasty, you may think a t-shirt is the perfect choice for going out to dinner… Wrong, the locals LOVE air-conditioning! When your brother-in-law has Raynaud’s, going out to dinner in Florida is an evening of watching him get gradually more blue until we’re ready to call the cheque. On a separate trip to Orlando, my cousin had been experiencing stomach issues in the months prior and was eating everything in baby-sized bites; that being said, he still had the appetite of a boy in his late teens which had us all bated in breath waiting for him to place his order. If he ordered the steak and shrimp platter, we would be leaving at midnight, plucking the icicles from our nostrils as we stood up from the table! Play it safe, take a jumper.

A trip to the vets

A fun-filled day at Busch Gardens offers surprises around every corner… So you can imagine my surprise when I turned the corner to see my sister in a wheelchair on the entrance to the animal enclosures. As it happens, she got a bit too excited by the animals and whacked her foot seeking a closer view but luckily, there was a qualified medical practitioner nearby… and this animal vet was very good at looking after her. So my tip for this one – watch where you’re going or you could end up being placed in the splash zone by your fiancée with your wheels locked!

Despite the arguments, being drowned by the southern-rain and all-round general mess-ups, we all look back on our holidays to Florida with stitches in our sides from laughter. It really is the perfect family holiday for making memories and creating anecdotes so if you have never been, we’d highly recommend the trip.

Written by Megan
Holidaysplease Team Member
(with credit to my family)

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