My Family’s Most Embarrassing Moments Abroad

Following the success of my previous blog regarding the top faux-pas to be made in Orlando, I thought I’d offer a second dose of my crazy family’s antics abroad. So for your pleasure, or perhaps for some holiday guidance, here are just a couple of our top embarrassing moments…

The Angry German
When my extended family went on holiday to an all-inclusive resort in Brazil, we expected a tranquil tropical escape… Not the chaos that ensued. From my dad breaking his shoulder in multiple places, to my mum winning the Miss Congeniality pageant under the influence of her alter-ego ‘Chardonnay’ (a character that emerges after a few glasses of her namesake), we had many highlights on that holiday, but this is our favourite… Being a big family with 4 interconnecting rooms, we quickly got confused amongst the hotel room keycards, especially when there were 2 keys per room. After just a day or two, we resorted to taking all keys back to the room and trying each one until the door unlocked. Now, my dad is notorious for not being able to find his hotel room so this quickly went wrong when a confused German man approached a stranger trying 12 different keycards on his hotel room door. After a red-faced apology, my dad put the incident behind him.

A few days later, my dad needed to visit the room and refused to relive the experience with the keycards so my mum suggested he enter the room from our unlocked patio instead. My dad slides back the glass door, makes himself at home for a nap and has a wave of panic, “SOME B******D HAS KNICKED MY GOLF CLUBS”! As he stands scratching his head, the same German man emerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel and starts shouting “YOU! YOU! YOU!” at my dad. It’s a good job he broke his arm shortly after by playing in the sea, as he might have been arrested on the next incident.

The Under-Active Stingray
On the same holiday (I told you there were highlights), my mum and aunt took all of the kids to a marine park with lots of tropical fish to discover. We had a brilliant time wandering around when suddenly my mum shouts “KIDS! Come here, look at this ginormous stingray!”, pointing into a shallow open-air tank. Before we could ask why it wasn’t moving, a small and sheepish Brazilian man ran over and calmed my excited mum with the words “No no ma’am, plastique. Plastique!”. We still take the mickey 20 years later.

One Way to Get Banned from a Spa
Reaching the age of 12 was a memorable holiday for my sister as she could benefit from more ‘grown up’ facilities in the hotels. Enjoying a sunny holiday in Mexico, my mum decided to treat her to a girly afternoon getting a pedicure in the resort’s spa… Slight oversight – My sister is very ticklish. I don’t think we ever apologised enough to the tiny pedicurist who was sent flying across the salon on a wheelie stool after being kicked in the face, then colliding with the far wall in an almighty clatter. I’m adamant to this day that pedicurists are amongst the most dangerous career paths!

“Quand est le grand jour?”
After my mum claimed my cousin’s new top that ‘didn’t suit her’, she decided to pop it on for an evening exploring a southern French town. Tight around the bust with a flowy and forgiving mesh fabric, she felt very pretty until my dad said “you look pregnant in that”. Ignoring his snide comments, we all went out and had a lovely meal in a restaurant with absolutely no English language on the menu. When waiting for the toilet, two waitresses asked in French (of which my mum knows a relative amount) whether she enjoyed the meal. Not knowing a full response, she said “lovely, very full now!” cradling her food baby. She was livid when she returned to the table after being asked “quand est le grand jour”… or “When’s the big day?” for those who have forgotten their GCSE French!

It’s safe to say there are many more embarrassing stories from our travels abroad, but we always have the biggest laughs! Nothing beats a family holiday after all…

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